Making a great first impression to connect with others… a task business scholars and professionals have attempted to understand and perfect since, what seems like, the beginning of time. Without a doubt, your first impression on someone has an enormous impact on how you are perceived and your chances of creating a lasting connection. Research has shown that most people will decide if they like you within the first 7 seconds of meeting. 7 seconds – that’s it! In that measly amount of time, someone will rapidly evaluate you on a variety of characteristics, including your smile, eye contact, gait, gestures, voice, and posture. If the initial impression is positive, you’ve succeeded. Congratulations. But if the first impression is negative, studies show the other person will spend the rest of the conversation attempting to internally justify their initial reaction. Basically, a negative first impression makes winning them over an uphill battle. So how do you leave a strong first impression that will not only entice someone to like you, but will encourage a lasting connection and rewarding relationship? It is an elusive question that frightens some and baffles others, but fret no longer. Here are some easy pointers that will ensure you leave a great impression and connect with anyone.
- Be aware of the way your present yourself. Your gestures, tone of voice, facial expressions, posture, gait, etc. These might seem like small aspects of meeting someone, but they have a lasting impact. Uncross your arms, seem enthusiastic, maintain eye contact, and face towards the person speaking to ensure your physical impression draws people in. Smile!
- Don’t be afraid to go deeper. While it may be tempting to keep the conversation superficial and light-hearted, it pays off to to venture away from the safe, stereotypical topics. Without getting too personal, reveal something about yourself. Share what you’re passionate about or a problem you’ve been tackling. Use good questions to encourage the other person to go deeper. Rather than asking the typical “what do you do?”, ask “Why did you choose your profession?”
- Embody curiosity and empathy. You can learn something from anyone, if you try hard enough. Go into every new interaction with a sense of curiosity. Ask questions and make every attempt to genuinely learn and understand the other person. This requires you to be empathetic, which is a characteristic you should be working towards in life for many reasons outside of meeting new people.
- Don’t be judgmental. Once you have encouraged someone to be more personal, don’t ruin the interaction by being judgmental, sarcastic, critical, or argumentative. Instead, empathize with their views and feelings, and respond to their willingness to open up by revealing more about yourself. This Roger Imhoff quote is spot on: “Let others confide in you. It may not help you, but it surely will help them.”
- Don’t forget to use their name. Personally, I struggle with this rule the most. Remembering someone’s name and then subsequently using it in the conversation is a powerful way to show respect towards someone’s identity. Research shows that people feel validated when their name is used during conversation. If you are like me and often forget their name halfway through the conversation, don’t be afraid to ask their name a second time.
- Don’t be competitive. You shouldn’t use the opportunity of meeting new people to feed your ego. The conversation should never be about sharing your accomplishments or hyping your life experiences. The conversation should be about them and the common ground you share with each other.
- Shut your inner voice up! Just listen. It is nearly impossible to listen to someone else when your inner voice is stealing your attention. Rather than focusing on what you will say next or how the other person is saying something, just listen. Robert Montgomery had the perfect question to summarize this point: “Are you really listening… or are you just waiting for your turn to talk?”
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